A Dream
In the wee hours of the morning I dreamed I was representing a friend in a divorce. The judge demanded an answer of me, but I could not; I had no legal argument. I had proven myself to be ineffective, and I had disappointed my friend. I fretted over this and attempted to console her, to take accountability, to justify my lack of preparation—”it was only our first appearance!”
An Article
Later, I read an article in The Atlantic: The End of Human Rights. In it, the journalist, George Packer, describes his own emotional struggles with his inability to help an Afghan family that must find state protection if they are to find safety. Currently in Pakistan, the couple lives in hiding waiting in vain for the United States government to honor its former promises of asylum. In the meantime, Pakistan’s government is deporting Afghan citizens en masse. Mr. Packer writes he has spent years desperately seeking a solution for this family.
I’ve been there, and, therefore, I know it is enough to drive one mad.
Acceptance As a Path Forward
Though it’s clear my subconscious is still working on this, I am learning to accept that I am no one’s salvation. I cannot—even on my very best day—bend the will of judges and government officials to my own. Even if that were possible, I would never wish it, for, despite my good intentions, instead of a savior, I’d merely be one of an infinite variety of tyrants, all, no doubt, with their own good intentions.
Live and Let Live
As to the problem of human suffering, the only reliably sound answer I can find is the same suggested by L.M. Montgomery’s Anne: “[W]e must quit us [read conduct oneself] like sensible folk, living and let live.”1
Having previously noted my own powerlessness, in a very real way, I have no choice but to “let live.”
In living, however, I have many choices. I can choose to do my best with what I have. Instead of becoming mired in the bog of misery and despair—again, Artax—I can dust myself off—see Nat King Cole, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, Aaliyah, and Taylor Swift—and do the good I’m capable of, no matter how small.
This, I believe, is a true, accessible power much greater than that which we—I— covet.
- L.M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island 76-7 (Bantam Books 1998)(1915). ↩︎
